out came [the] sun.

my fear of creepy crawlys is worsening. mainly spiders. now my stomach kinda hurts. if you cant guess it, i just crossed ways with a huge spider, almost taranchula huge, and well i am beyond pertafied at the moment my hands are still shaking. i made my 9 year old brother put on shoe that dont have holes in them like the ones im wearing (crocs... yeah i know ima sell out) and i made him jump up and down on a bag that the spider ran under. while i stood some what paralysed in my brothers door way yelling "jump, and dont stop till i say so" at the top of my lungs. yes me. the same person who will be turning 18 in 9 days. the same person who just got off the phone with her mom demanding she bring spider spray home or i wont sleep.
(i really wont sleep.) either. id sit there with panicked and darting eyes.

have i told you about my curse?

well i have this amazingly horrible ability to see spiders(or any bug) in places they shouldnt be. and its a curse cause i feel compelled to kill them but im deathly terrified. its so horrible. and its not like im looking for the spiders either, i would have been perfectly fine, if i didnt know they were creepy crawling around be, but as soon as im aware, my mind turns on its stupid, panic, omg im afraid of these things that arent bigger then quartes most of the time. ( and my fav super hero is spiderman. how did that happen.?) ugh, and ITs MOSTLY CALLED THE CURSE because im the last to spot the 20$ bill on the ground but im the first to spot a spider, what the heck is that? and its never like in front of me, its always spotted in the corner of my eye. ugh. i am so pathetic. but i just realized i have to find a roomate that will kill the spiders. if we are both afraid, omg. two screaming girls?

omg im really pathetic. i HATE spiders.

and my sharp intakes of panicky breaths has gotta go too. and its also not good to freeze up. what the heck?

Tags: spiders
how im feeling:: shocked