Dear Family

Don't make me shank you.

I come back from my walk, the one I didn't NEED TO TAKE AND THAT SOMEONE ELSE COULD'VE TAKEN THE DOG BECAUSE HE'S THE FAMILY'S DOG AND I SEEM TO DO EVERYTHING BUT PICK UP HIS SHIT FOR HIM, I'm not going to be pleasant. Expect me to be unhappy and cranky and miserable. It's how I feel. Especially when it's so goddamn cold out.

So NO. NO I AM NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY. I am not going to be pleasant. And I am certainly not going to care what you think about it.

Are you going to threaten to take the computer away? Do it. Go right the fuck ahead.

Angry Angry Hippo
~The Dutchess

how im feeling:: pissed off

Dear Mom's Friend Kelly and Daughter Kya,
Please leave my house, you are annoying, you have entirely too much energy at 7 am and I am sick of waking up to your mother yelling at you for being a brat. Screaming doesn't get you anything so can you please shut up and crying doesn't help either. Not only are you annoying me but you are annoying my boyfriend to the point where he hates you, and he doesn't hate anyone. Please stop commenting on what my mom cooks for dinner or anything else she wants to do considering you do not live here! If you don't like it you can leave, you have a house, go there and leave us alone, no one likes you.

how im feeling:: aggravated

Dear coldsores,

SERIOUSLY?

It's less than a week to my birthday, and you decide NOW is a good time to pop up?! You need to GO, so I can kiss my man when he comes down for said birthday! And lipbalm? Where are you?! You know I need you to keep my lips all moisturised whilst I can't lick them! So you decided to be elusive and vanish too?

What did I do in a past life, eat newborn babies or something?!

Really, really, really unimpressed,
Poor art student
P.S: Sniffles? Don't you fucking DARE turn into a full blown cold by like, Monday! ¬__¬

Dear B--

Listen, I know we're good friends, but you're annoying the crap out of me lately...
When I go to the back room with my friend that's a girl, and we close the door...that means we're having a private girl talk conversation that I don't want the whole class to hear...

Do not be a fucking creep, opening the door every five to ten minutes trying to listen in on our conversation.
Why the hell did you even walk in, and make things awkward for all of us for a few minutes?

You know the saying, I was thinking "This is an A/B conversation you can C your way out," when you opened the door TWICE!

Another thing...when I'm talking to my infatuation J, please don't butt into our conversation. It doesn't concern you there either. Why are you being so fucking annoying and jealous?

We're never gonna happen! So you don't gotta be jealous of who I talk to, or find out what we were talking about because it's none of your damn business whether or not we were talking about you.

I'm >< that close to not being your friend anymore if you pull this shit again!

I am so glad I was finally able to have some alone time with my crush without you being there invading our conversations every time for once. I thought it was funny that the whole class ditched the day before Thanks giving, except for me, him, and our other friend that I actually like talking to. Class should be like this always. I didn't think that would happen so we could all talk privately without you being all nosey.

Omg!
get over it,
me

Dear random guys at club--

Do not f'ing stare at me up and down..there is no chance you're dancing with me, let alone taking me home. Do not fucking slap my ass again or I'll break your arm.

Fat chance,
me

Dear K--

Can you please stop with the rumors? That shit happened in 2007. Neither of us are even talking to your ex anymore for a long time and you're still talking about me...yet you write on your statuses saying I need to get a life when you're so obsessed with blogging about my sex life still, lmao. You might want to re-evaluate who needs to get a life...also...when you write on those Social Interview questions that all the boys want you, who are you talking about? Every guy that I know that knows you says you're a creepy stalking psycho bitch. Must be trashy guys that want you because I know no decent guy would even take one glance at you! You are so fug and I find it hilarious how you think you're "the hottest bitch in the club" as the songs say, lol.

Damn, you're so ignorant.
Open your eyes, everyone's pretending to like you for the sake of less drama. Step down your pedestal nasty bitch.

definitely no love,
me

how im feeling:: annoyed

No, I can't ring up your groceries any faster. I don't care that "you have important places to be". Really, I don't. I work for minimum wage in a shitty store, and I'd MUCH rather be in bed, not dealing with you.

No love,
the cashier girl who rung up everything extra slow just to piss you off

Dear A.R,

I think it's sort of funny how you're really obsessive over someone that doesn't love you anymore, even though it seemed like you had moved on. You're dating a twenty something year old man, you little 16 year old skank, and you're so immature... you give yourself to everyone just to make him jealous.

And another thing, don't talk smack about me. Say it to my face.

Waiting for you to grow a pair
T.N.A.G

Hey, NaNo?

This whole word discrepancy thing going on between your counter and my word processor's counter? Not cool. I'm losing words- in increasing amounts. Used to be your counter was telling me I had 3 less words than my word processor was telling me. That turned into 5. Then 6. But 10? That's a lot of words when words count! I'd kindly appreciate it if you stopped this tomfoolery and gave me my 10 words back, hu?

Till then, I'm on the side of my word processor.

The writer up 10 more words than you're giving her credit for.

A girl I went to middle school with answered one of those social interview things about me of Facebook. The question was: "If Anna won an award, what would it be for?" She answered, "I could see her winning the Nobel Peace Prize. You're one of the few I know with a truly good heart, so I could totally see it."

Granted, I've only run into her a handful of times since we were in class together. She works for my dad now and I put in a good word for her, but other than that I really can't imagine what I could have done to motivate such a comment. I thought I was the most awkward girl way back in the middle school days, so it mean so much to me that she would think of me highly. I guess it goes to show that the little things I do really do matter, because you never know who is could affect.

Dear abnormal psych professor/advisor of mine:

I've put up with a lot out of you. I've put up with your misogynistic statements. I've put up with your anti-religious sentiment. I've put up with your "pothead agenda" and your "anti-medical" stuff.

But when you brought up something THAT homophobic, I can't help but hate you.
Do you get your kicks from hating on gays and lesbians? 'Cause if you do, you can kiss my ass so hard right now. Did you ever stop and think that maybe, just maybe, one of the students in your class might be a lesbian? Of course not.

I hope you're looking forward to a scathing review come Professor Evaluation.

Despising you more every day,
The lesbian in the class

PS: Best be glad this is the real world, buddy boy. You don't get off so easy in my dreams.

how im feeling:: awake
what im cranking:: 3 Doors Down -- Kryptonite

Dear K's mother,

Just because she's your daughter doesn't mean she's right in everything.
You guys can manipulate everyone else, but if I ever take it to the higher courts, it won't be good on your end...especially since your daughter threatened me on her tweets...that's also against the United States law, and even the Terms of Service.

K's mother, don't tell me you are proud of your daughter for publishing information about her sex life in her notes, myspace and everywhere. If she were my daughter, her ass would be beat red and I'd take away her computer privleges...don't care how old she is now, but she's 23-years-old, and when your daughter uses the Internet, she comes off as a 14-year-old mentality.

You're her facebook friend, you see all the shit she posts, and you're still proud of her and stick by her side? You know she has a whole problem with this entire town, so it definitely wouldn't look good on your guyses end...especially when she tweets about having another beef with another girl, etc.

Why don't you tell your daughter to shape up and mind her own business?
She always gets herself involved just because she's always so nosey in everyone else's businesses and doesn't seem to mind her own.

What was God on when he created people like your daughter? I'd like to know.

Thanks,
me